I would love any and all feedback. My goal was to make a funny short with a clear message. I’d love to know if you thought it was funny or not, and whether the message was clear.
I took the time to watch it.
I couldn’t really understand the boss, which meant I really didn’t have that much of a clue was going on.
When it moved to the second animation/part of the storyI was about to give up watching, but the song really lifted the pace and was fun. It was great little number (although it could of done with a little autotune so you could make the vocals a little louder) and was fun to watch.
I think generaly the animations were fun to watch, but all too often the backgrounds were nonexistant. I think creating some backgrounds in the song would of really taken it up a level.
Fun and, yep, the end message comes through strong. Nice shot choices throughout the entire thing and the pacing reminds me of Home Movies ( tv series )-- which is great
As far as critique just a couple things come to mind:
It took me a few seconds to figure out that the old ugly guy is the boss and not a customer of some sort.
Also, I agree with TheRaider about having some trouble understanding the boss-- that along with no one directly stating the problem that the meat-company faces ( “It’s the children” versus “Children aren’t buying meat”) makes the beginning section take some thinking-- not much, but it is time spent trying to figure out things instead of immediately being engrossed in the story. ( being “too obvious” is a very minor sin when it’s in service of explaining an essential part of the story-- as a side note, I really need to remember this myself )
But, yep, all that is only a temporary distraction and then it’s smooth sailing. Actually better than smooth sailing-- I really enjoyed the short.
Congrats and keep it up,
I thought it was really good. I especially liked the camera moves, the sound and the song. I could understand the boss.
If I was to get very picky’ I’d say:-
1) It could have been shorter.
2) The father/son “eat my meat” gags are OK. However, I think with that type of gag one of the characters needs to clearly understand the double entendre.
3) You cut to “The Boy and His Weiner” but you don’t cut back at the end. I think it would work as well without the first part.
That’s my uneducated take.
Good job! Fun story
I know that you are working with a very easy going and carefree style but I don’t like it too much. It could be seen by some as sort of lazy. ;D
There is a fantastic animator called mark marek that have developed that easy going style with such grace and style… Check it out I’ll bet you’ll like it