my second animation

hey Toonboomers,

here is my second animation. again unfortunately, the dialogue isn’t in English. however, the story is about a girl struggling to win her mother’s approval, sort of, there is alot of cutural references in it, so it’s hard for me to explain it accurately. anyway, i would love your feedback on this one, and if you think there has been any changes compared to my first one…



Hi Amin

Looking at this I immediately remembered your first piece of work. I’m not an expert on animation so don’t assume that anything I say from here on in has is correct…

1) Technically, it looks as thought you’ve come a very long way since your first piece of work.
2) The girl has great, expressive eyes. There’s a lot of character there.
3) The piece is very interesting, yet economical is the use of animation ie not a lot of highly complex stuff. I regard this as a good thing in the sense that you’re working “smart”.
4) The color scheme is great.
5) You’ve made the mother an interesting character, even though she doesn’t do a thing!
6) I like the music both lyrically and technically. I’ve got no idea
what the lyrics are
7) I think you could drop the number of rejections and end up with a shorter and better movie.
8) I don’t understand the dialogue or lyrics. However, since you’ve decided to incllude them, they must have some meaning. I feel left out( not an unusual situation for me!)

Great! do some more!


I like the animation. Only the walking movement of the small girl isn’t there. She floating/sliding. While the walking movement is good when she is older. Not to speak about the great way she is dancing.

I like this one much more than your first one.

What are the words the mother is repeating every time?

hey guys, thanks alot for your feedback…i am flattered!

i agree on the eyes Bob, before i got into animation 6 months ago, i used to draw Manga, it’s amazing how simple yet very expressive their facial expressions are. when animating in Anime style, it remains as simple and expressive too, Disney is just too complex :S

and i have to agree on the walking Delah, i thought i would get away with it with an upclose shot where only half of her upper body is showing. when i walked the adult character that way it was obvious, so i thought it was because only the legs were off screen but i suppose there is no way outta of it, it was so obvious i noticed at the end, maybe i moved her too fast? lesson learned thanks for bringing my attention to it :slight_smile: i do tradigital, having it look more realistic means extra more frames extra clean up, extra coloring, extra toning and hilighting…ah! :S

ok, i will give it a shot, but i don’t promise it will sound as funny or relevant when translated. :-<br />
now the mother is old school, she is the sort of mothers who see every achievement trivial to getting married and popping babies. and that’s what she keeps telling her daughter every time round, “get married get married” or something along those lines in English. and when she does get married eventually she’s not yet satisfied, she wants her to start popping the babies! so that girl eventually turns into a copy of her own mother, however, i intentionally left the end open when the girl doesn’t respond to her daughter (the little kid at the end) in order to end it with a “what would you do?” kind of question you know. as in would you cave to social pressure too? or do keep doing your thing? and it actually worked well so far, the responses and the discussion it has stimulated have been really great. talk about the power of the media :slight_smile:

thanks again Bob and Delah

Hi Amin

Don’t know if this helps…

1) What Delah says about the walks is correct but I didn’t notice anything wrong and I’m usually quite focussed on walks.
2) I’m with Delah on the graduation dance it’s a very lovely, fluid piece of animation.


Rather than comment on the animation–well done but rather slow moving–I have a question. How do you get over 22,000 hits in two days?

as i am writing this, it’s has gone up to 45,555 views! i am actually overwhelmed myself :S i didn’t expect it really to be that popular, more over, my first animation has received a big boost too…i didn’t do anything but sharing it on facebook! :S the number of members on my fan page has quadrupled in two days!

the reason i believe, and that’s my own analysis, is in the audience its directed to, and its content. as more stats from youtube come in, it shows the views are mainly from within one region, and that’s understandable as i aimed at a sensitive gender issue. it hit a raw nerve i suppose among females there. then the butterfly effect kicked in. now it’s even been ranked higher in places like Australia, Newzeland and Canada in the film and animation category.

i am glad you liked it :slight_smile:

Hi Amin,
I thought this was well done. I even think the pace is appropriate as you have condense 20-25 years into about five minutes. Yes, it does feel like it moves slow, but I think that is also the point of the film, as it demonstrates the young girls frustration with how her culture moves very slow.

keep up the good work.

thanks Bill :slight_smile:

my animation has made it to a newspaper in Sudan! :slight_smile: though they mispelled my name >:(


Hi Amin

What page is it on? I can seem to find anything in the article on the front page.


try this one, you may also need to use one of them web translators. :slight_smile:

Hi Amin

Thanks, I can just about get the gist of this.

It’s a fascinating thing you’ve achieved with this animation. In your hands, it seems to have become an influential social/political force. Do you know what devices people use to view the animation?

I also find it interesting that your third animation, although of the same or higher technical quality, does not seem to have had the same volume of Youtube interest.

I think that there’s something very important we can learn from your experience, if only I could work it out.

I’ll watch your future career with great interest.



hey thanks…

devices used to view the animation are computers and mobile smart phones operating on 3.5G networks.

that area of the world depends highly on imported animations, there is no real animation industry compared to the other forms of media. and hence, most of the animation featured is actually imported from either Japan or America then dubbed or subtitled. it’s not until recently that media companies started producing animations in 2 and 3D of high quality with local content, yet these are all outsourced to animation studios in Europe. aside from the script, every stage of the production, is being done somewhere else.
in my own analysis, what this animation presented was local content made netirely by a local and in a local language. that’s why it gained this much attention. now why the third one hasn’t been as popular, i am not really sure, but perhaps 'cause it wasn’t meant to be funny, rather sad. humor travels faster?


thank you Lilly! :slight_smile:

Congrats on the newspaper article! We’re a really huge supporter of creating local content, after all, that’s what people honestly would like to see more of. Really great work!