Hi everyone, here is a short teaser for another animated movie I’m working on called ‘Lunchtime.’ It tells the story of a lunch party gone wrong. I kinda like the sad vibe this teaser gives. All he wants to do is have lunch with friends! Is that so difficult??? hehe have a look and let me know what you think!

Your art is excellent.

I didn’t like his facial expression, this might sounds a bit crude, but he more looked like he has constipation. I think you should make him look sad and it is a perfect time to add to with a head drop in my option.

The music added to the feeling you were trying to convey.

your art is excellent indeed :slight_smile:

it’s hard to comment on your animation though since the camera was the only moving element, which i think you did great. but i have to agree with the raider on the facial expression, looks as the Raider put it, more constipated than sad.

although i think your layout started off very good, showing the empty table then moving slowly towards your character, i feel the placing of your character adds nothing to the overall message you’re trying to convey. perhaps it’s just me, but whatever he is sitting on being sad, doesn’t signify anything to me, maybe it’s a cultural thing i don’t know. but what i would do, is have him looking out the door (with the door open) with a back view or 3/4 if possible, as if he’s awaiting their arrival. then i would add a front close up shot to show his sad expressions since the previous shot was from behind… it’s a trailer, the trick is to be as short as possible yet, make sure it conveys the message you want. if you could that in a trailer without having to add texts to explain it, then your trailer is perfect…and i believe you could do that, you’re really good!

keep it up! :slight_smile:



I like the art and the colors; it’s got the same look and feel as Betabugs.

What’s happening with Betabugs?


Amazing feedback everybody, thanks so much.

To address a few issues, the reason his head doesn’t drop in disappointment/sadness is because this was just a quick animation I did to convey a feeling. I fully intend on properly animating the character in the final product.

Also, regarding his expression, that’s interesting. This expression he has is one he’s making in mid-cry, although I haven’t animated the cry yet. So, I believe in the final take, this face will work without the connotation of constipation.

Also, regarding the staging of the scene, I love the idea of the camera panning to reveal a shot from behind him, looking towards the door. That’s a great idea and I get how it would cement the idea he’s anticipating something that will not happen.

Thanks so much for the feedback, you’ve all been a great help and I appreciate that this forum seems to provide real, constructive criticism as opposed to meaningless praise.

Overall I really liked it, Mike! The expression didn’t bother me, it’s a teaser and is supposed to arouse curiosity. From the content it looks like the main character has prepared lunch and invited his friends who are late in showing up. So he’s sad as the music portrays. But, it’s almost too nebulous and unclear. Sort of–nothing going on, nothing happening, stay tuned for—nothing. I’d at least put in a sob from the main character or a sigh or something. The camera slowly pans to him, stops, he sobs/sighs, blinks, breaks out into heaves of sobbing, cut. Now THAT would be a teaser!

The thing that is the most curious is the title screen with all the food being thrown at it. Do his friends finally arrive and they get into an argument, possibly the hosts’ frustration of them being so late and get into a huge food fight? Only the final feature will tell.

The only thing that seemed to be animated–other than the camera–was the palm tree in the beginning shot. One branch is sort of twitching. Is that supposed to be moving with the wind? If so, it needs a little attention.

When you post somewhere like this I think you always expecting constructive feedback. I agree with on this forum that feedback never ends in trolling which is great :)I have a few friends i show my music too for feedback (and vice versa) and we have a rule to always pick out the thing we like the most and the thing we like the least. It works out being a lot more useful than “i really like it”.

What you said about the facial expression being part of an animation reminds me of when you pause a dvd with someone talking and often you end up in a really unfortunatly still frame of the person.